I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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