does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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