he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
