No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
