I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
