Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
