I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
