Sry I called you an 8
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
