Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
