I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
