just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
