my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
