Are we in a gay sports bar?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it's like heaven, but drunker
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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