ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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