I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
