Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
