no you cant smoke seaweed
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
