im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
