alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
