The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
