I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
