i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just tell him i said nine months
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
