We're like a lot better than the average bears
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
