I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
