sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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