You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
