i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
