so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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