everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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