You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
