I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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