whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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