that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
