I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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