I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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