guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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