I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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