Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
