physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
