Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
