Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
