Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
