I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Drunk is a universal language darling
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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