Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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