reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
