Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
