Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
