But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
