my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
