Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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